Happy? Mother's Day

It's just past Mother's Day, and I've been talking with other (mostly female) pastors about whether it's appropriate to celebrate Mother's Day in church. The history of Mother's Day isn't actually Christian. Rather, the roots of Mother's Day are traced back to the Greek celebrations of women and motherhood through the goddesses. The celebration of Mother's Day in the US began when one woman believed that all people should honor and appreciate their mothers - a quite secular beginning, as it were. Thus, the question arises whether we should celebrate secular holidays in church on Sunday mornings.

Of course, the reality of our society is that we fail to separate secular and church holidays. The 4th of July tends to be marked and celebrated in church, and Christmas and Easter are celebrated in the secular world. This being the case, I've been considering how one might honor mothers and Mother's Day in the church in a distinctly Christian way. That meaning how might we honor mothers while recognizing the Christian values of discipleship, justice, and peace.

The Religious Institute provided the resource that we at St. James used on Mother's Day. The litany we read reminded us of many things: that not all mothers wish to be mothers; that some women wish to be mothers and have not been able to bear children; that many women are mothers of children that never lived, or that died young; that many mothers go without pre-natal care; that many mothers die in childbirth because they don't have proper medical attention. All of these realities must be lifted up when we think to honor mothers in the church. But there is another reality that the celebration of Mother's Day ignores: that not all children have mothers who have cared for them, loved them, or nurtured them as they should. All people have mothers - that is how we are brought into this world. But there are many orphans, both children whose parents have died and those whose parents simply don't care for them. In recognizing Mother's Day, we must also recognize the importance of 'other' women in the lives of children (and adults) who might have taken on this role.

Here we understand that for many people, Mother's Day may cause as much pain as joy. The pain of having lost a wonderful mother is one reminder, though painful, of God's presence and God's grace in our lives. However, the reminder that the Bible says "honor your mother" while at the same time she beats you or abandons you leaves us confused and hurting. The reminder that you are a mother because of rape or because your husband has forced you to become a mother also leaves us hurt and confused. The reminder that you could not bear children and so people do not consider you the mother of your adopted children leaves us hurting and lost. God's will for our lives is healing and hope -- discipleship, justice, and peace -- not hurt, confusion, and chaos. Furthermore, women who have had miscarriages or still-births, women who have been unable to get pregnant, women who have lost children, women who have had abortions, and women who have chosen not to be mothers... all of these might be alienated, hurt, and confused during the celebration of Mother's Day. What is God's word of hope for these women?

As the article linked in the heading for this post indicates, women still are not free in our society to choose not to be mothers. Such women are considered selfish or presumed to be gay. When might these women, who contribute to society and church, be lifted up and recognized as graced children of God? And when might children of abusive or absent mothers be reminded that they, too, are graced children of God? When do we remember that mothers whose children have died are also graced children of God? When do we remember that women who have not chosen motherhood but who had it chosen for them are themselves graced children of God?

This is not to say that mothers should not be recognized and honored. The world has many mothers, and motherhood is a difficult calling and profession. Mothers around the world deserve the recognition they get on this one day -- the recognition that they work hard, love profoundly, and live in the world with grace. But those others also deserve a day, a time to be recognized and honored. So, with Mother's Day just behind us, let us recognize those in our lives and in our world who find that day hurtful and confusing. Let us remind these that they, too, are children of a loving Mother God who lives in their world and their lives with grace. And let us remember that God's grace extends to all God's children - and we honor the image of God in all of us.

God bless us all on this day, and on all days. Amen.